I’ll be the keynote speaker at A Time for Healing Women’s Retreat, for women healing from spousal betrayal. This retreat is unusual in that the purpose is to give participants the ability to try various trauma healing modalities (ART, cranial sacral, yoga, massage, etc) at the retreat. So the cost is very low ($25-60) including meals and activities, with the added option to sign up (and pay for) individual sessions with the various therapists. It’s in Salt Lake County, UT and is coming up this month, so grab your spot soon!
My colleague David Thompson and I have our podcast up and running. We are so excited! It is called Two Therapists Talking. We are discussing lots of different relevant therapy topics, with an initial emphasis on sex addiction and betrayal trauma recovery. I’d love to have you join us. Listen in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts.
I’m excited to announce that a colleague, David Thompson, and I are finally putting into action our year plus plans to start a podcast. We are in the middle of figuring out all the details, but we are very excited to be able to share thoughts, perspectives, and theories around important therapeutic topics with a larger audience. So look forward to that, hopefully we will begin posting episodes in April of this month. Stay tuned!
When I see a new client there are always things we will discuss in that first session that are important to know. And I want to share one of those with you. That is that your therapist works for you, not the other way around. I hear lots of stories of people who just started seeing a therapist and it just doesn’t feel like a good fit, but they stay because they aren’t sure what to do, or think maybe it will get better. Or they’ve been seeing a therapist for a while and feel like things are stalled, or that nothing is changing/working but they don’t bring it up and/or stay because they don’t want to make their therapist feel bad, or they think something must be wrong with them. It’s always okay and a really good idea to bring such things up with your therapist. I always tell my clients that as we get going,”each therapist has a different personality, theoretical approach, or conceptual approach, that may or may not work for you personally. Make sure you’re getting your needs met. I won’t be offended, this is about what you need.” I’m always willing to talk with clients about what needs are and adjust what I am providing to them, but ultimately if a therapist doesn’t fit, or you’ve learned what you ned to learn from them, move on! Everyone is on a journey of growth and progression, find what fits for you right now.
UnashamedUnafraid contacted me and asked me to come back on the podcast to help them with all the questions they were getting about how to talk to your children about healthy sexuality. It was so much fun to go in and see the crew and discuss a topic I’m so personally passionate about. We had a good time recording, and I’m excited to hear the end result when they publish it in October. So stay tuned for that.
I have just gotten word that there is a discount for the Determined to Rise Conference of 20% going on right now!
Use code: YOUARELOVED at checkout. You don’t want to miss it!
I’m excited to announce that next month I am presenting at 3 conferences!
I am presenting at the North Star Conference, March 6, 2020 in Salt Lake City. This organization is a wonderful faith-based group that works with the LGBTQ community who want to live lives of faith. Their theme this conference is “Be Still and Know.” I’m excited to combine the therapeutic angle with a faith-based angle to speak in their mixed-orientation marriage betrayal trauma track. I’ve learned so much from the amazing people I have worked with already.
The next conference at which I will be presenting is Determined to Rise. This will be a weekend retreat for Betrayal Trauma and other forms of emotional abuse. This retreat is March 20-22, in Southern Utah. It is a wonderful retreat that combines therapeutic presentations with experiential exercises, trauma releasing movement, etc. I love how cost effective and amazing these retreats turn out and am thrilled to be a part of it again this year.
Finally, I’ve been invited back to present again on Betrayal Trauma at the Utah Coalition Against Pornography. This year the conference is entitled “Developing Healthy Connection: Healthy Conversation, Healthy Sexuality, Healthy Families, Healthy Communities, Healthy Living.” (What a great title!). The Conference is March 28, 2020 all day in the Salt Palace in Salt Lake City, Utah. I’m excited not only to present, but also to have a booth there to promote my book, as well as my courses. (If you’re interested in my courses, check out the tab on that above).
I hope to see you at one or more of these conferences. Come find me, I’d love to talk with you.
As is typical this time of year, I’m considering New Beginnings and what they can do for us. My sister-in-law and I had a conversation that got me thinking. I’m inspired by the beginnings we see in nature, ones she listed out for me. New seeds push through the soil and reach up into the light to grow and create new plants. Baby chicks break through a shell to start a new life. Clams create a new beautiful pearl by coating an irritating grain of sand. Caterpillars literally have a meltdown (their bodies dissolve) inside their chrysalis to create a new life as a butterfly. These new beginnings and new life are not without struggle and effort—sometimes, massive painful effort. Yet without that painful, difficult push forward, it would be impossible to succeed and have that new life. The joy of having wings, of the beauty of the pearl, or the fresh breath of life outside a shell comes because of the struggle. Sometimes it feels easier to hide from the struggle. But what if we embrace it? What if we invite it in? What if we take the long view and see where it could lead us? The perspective could change everything.
As a therapist I do a lot of study in different methods that help people progress through their difficulties. One concept I have noticed regularly in my study of 12 step literature is the concept of accepting reality. I’ve seen this concept elsewhere, and while I have a million thoughts that I’ll have to share another time, I would like to share 3 of my favorite quotes on the subject. One of these is a quote from a book I read, one is a 12-step quote, and one is from a religious source (so take what you like and leave the rest). I always enjoy when I can pull truth on the same topic from several different arenas and see what they each contribute to a deeper personal understanding. What understanding do you find through these quotes?
“When I argue with reality I lose, but only 100% of the time.” –Byron Katie.
“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am distrubed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation–some fact of my life–unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake…unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.”–AA Big Book
“To recognize the hand of the Lord in your life and to accept His will without complaint is a beginning. That decision does not immediately eliminate the struggles that will come for your growth. But I witness that it is the best way there is for you to find strength and understanding. It will free you from the dead ends of your own reasoning. It will allow your life to become a productive, meaningful experienc, when otherwise you may not know how to go on.”–Richard G. Scott, October General Conference, 1995