Category: Triggers

Determined to Rise

I am excited to announce that I will be speaking at an amazing women’s retreat in 2 weeks.  Determined to Rise hosts retreats for women who have suffered abuse, most commonly betrayal trauma.  It is a jam packed weekend of presentations on healing, recreational therapy, art therapy, yoga, and relaxation.  You can connect with women who have been there, and with resources to heal.  And best of all Determined to Rise does it very inexpensively!  For less than the price of a hotel room, you get everything you need to rejuvenate and move forward: meals, room and board, take homes, and all the activities mentioned above.  I’m honored to join this amazing team as the guest therapist presenter.  I hope to see you all there.  To get more information and register see their website here.  This year’s retreat is themed: Putting My Pieces Together, and I believe will feature a kintsugi art therapy activity.

UCAP St. George

UCAP St George is coming up in just a few weeks.  I’m so excited! There will be speakers and booths with wonderful information for addicts, betrayed spouses, parents who want to teach their children about healthy sexuality, etc.  I look forward to seeing you there!  Come see me at my booth for books, courses, and giveaways!

Accelerated Resolution Therapy

I recently became one of only a handful of therapists in Utah certified in Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART).  I was so excited to be trained in this unique therapy with incredible results.  And I am so excited to tell you about it.

ART is a newer, revolutionary evidence-based treatment where clients see benefits and recovery much more rapidly than traditional therapies, usually within 1-5 sessions.  ART works to reprogram the way in which distressing images and memories are stored in the brain so that they no longer trigger strong physical and emotional reactions.  It allows clients to respond to their current reality without being triggered by past experiences.  Originally studied for use with trauma and depression, clients presenting with a wide range of distress have seen results including, but not limited to:

Anxiety, Family Issues, Phobias, OCD, Addictions, Performance Anxiety, Victimization/Poor Self Image, Sexual Abuse, Infidelity, Codependency, Grief, Job Related Stress, Pain Management, and Memory Enhancement.

If you are in Utah and are interested in scheduling ART sessions with me, go to the Contact Me tab.

Summer Course Dates Available

As is often the case approaching the summer, it’s been a scramble to plan activities and vacations.  I finally have my summer course schedules finalized!

  • Betrayal Trauma Healing Course 1 starts Monday June 10th, 10-11:30am MST
  • Betrayal Trauma Healing Course 2 will follow Course 1 and start in August
  • Betrayal Trauma Boundaries Course starts Tuesday June 11th, 10-11:30am MST
  • Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality (Non-Denominational) starts Wednesday June 19th, 10-11:30am MST
  • Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality (Church of Jesus Christ) starts Thursday June 20th, 10-11:30am MST

 

For more details, check out the courses page. And email to sign up!

Summer can be crazy, if you have to miss a week, you can make it up or I can make a recording temporarily available (based on the consent of other participants).

If you want a course but can’t take it during the offered time, let me know, I’d love to try and accommodate you now or in the future.  I do occasionally add additional courses.

What do I do with Triggers?

Sometimes when life is going fairly well, you can still get hit with a trigger out of the blue.  You are able to see that the situation is a trigger and not based in reality (Sariah at Back Pocket Yoga calls this trigger vs. truth).  When this happens sometimes it seems logical to push the trigger away, or try to ignore it and move on with life. Often if we try this approach we find the trigger lingering.  It can be more helpful to validate yourself in the situation. Consider, “is it normal for me to have been triggered by this situation based on my past life circumstances?” More often than not you will find that being triggered is a normal Betrayal Trauma response.  Hold some space for that thought: this is a normal response to my circumstances. Don’t shame yourself, or push the reaction away, or ignore it, or freak out. Just accept it and hold space for it. Breathe into that validation. It is amazing how this can clear your mind and bring relief.  Relief that this is normal and an acceptable reality to be in.

Once you have validated yourself, and have accepted your reality you are in a better space through which to process, assess your situation, and move forward.

Healing Comes With Safety

For those healing from Betrayal Trauma, one of the first things that needs to be assessed is their current emotional safety.  If they are not emotionally safe, nothing we do in therapy will be very healing. This is one of the reasons I believe that couples therapy is often not useful very early in the recovery/healing process.  The betrayed spouse needs to develop boundaries, and the betraying spouse needs to find some emotional stability and sobriety. Both of these are necessary for them to hold space for the third entity, the relationship, which includes the pain and issues both people bring to it.  Individual healing and recovery must occur to the point where couples are in a space to work on the relationship. Therefore, couples therapy is indicated either when that individual healing and recovery is underway, or when there is a need for conversations as a couple in the development of safety and healing (such as working out the setting of specific safety boundaries, or determining together what “recovery” or “sobriety” looks like as defined by the couple themselves).

The analogy I use is that of a PTSD war vet.  No one would ever conceive of convincing a war veteran to heal and work through his PTSD before he has left combat (technically at that point he wouldn’t be a veteran, but you see the point).  The trauma is ongoing. There needs to be a level of safety present before healing can be attempted. For the betrayal trauma spouse, that safety is boundaries.  

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