Category: Betrayal Trauma Basics (Page 1 of 3)

Women’s Betrayal Retreat

I’ll be the keynote speaker at A Time for Healing Women’s Retreat, for women healing from spousal betrayal. This retreat is unusual in that the purpose is to give participants the ability to try various trauma healing modalities (ART, cranial sacral, yoga, massage, etc) at the retreat. So the cost is very low ($25-60) including meals and activities, with the added option to sign up (and pay for) individual sessions with the various therapists. It’s in Salt Lake County, UT and is coming up this month, so grab your spot soon!

Two Therapists Talking Podcast

My colleague David Thompson and I have our podcast up and running.  We are so excited!  It is called Two Therapists Talking.  We are discussing lots of different relevant therapy topics, with an initial emphasis on sex addiction and betrayal trauma recovery.  I’d love to have you join us.  Listen in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts.

My Podcast?

I’m excited to announce that a colleague, David Thompson, and I are finally putting into action our year plus plans to start a podcast.  We are in the middle of figuring out all the details, but we are very excited to be able to share thoughts, perspectives, and theories around important therapeutic topics with a larger audience.  So look forward to that, hopefully we will begin posting episodes in April of this month.  Stay tuned!

Determined to Rise Discount

Hello Ladies!

I have just gotten word that there is a discount for the Determined to Rise Conference of 20% going on right now!

Use code: YOUARELOVED at checkout.  You don’t want to miss it!

Upcoming Conferences

I’m excited to announce that next month I am presenting at 3 conferences!

I am presenting at the North Star Conference, March 6, 2020 in Salt Lake City.  This organization is a wonderful faith-based group that works with the LGBTQ community who want to live lives of faith.  Their theme this conference is “Be Still and Know.”  I’m excited to combine the therapeutic angle with a faith-based angle to speak in their mixed-orientation marriage betrayal trauma track.  I’ve learned so much from the amazing people I have worked with already.

The next conference at which I will be presenting is Determined to Rise.  This will be a weekend retreat for Betrayal Trauma and other forms of emotional abuse.  This retreat is March 20-22, in Southern Utah.  It is a wonderful retreat that combines therapeutic presentations with experiential exercises, trauma releasing movement, etc.  I love how cost effective and amazing these retreats turn out and am thrilled to be a part of it again this year.

Finally, I’ve been invited back to present again on Betrayal Trauma at the Utah Coalition Against Pornography.  This year the conference is entitled “Developing Healthy Connection: Healthy Conversation, Healthy Sexuality, Healthy Families, Healthy Communities, Healthy Living.”  (What a great title!). The Conference is March 28, 2020 all day in the Salt Palace in Salt Lake City, Utah.  I’m excited not only to present, but also to have a booth there to promote my book, as well as my courses.  (If you’re interested in my courses, check out the tab on that above).

I hope to see you at one or more of these conferences.  Come find me, I’d love to talk with you.



New Beginnings

As is typical this time of year, I’m considering New Beginnings and what they can do for us.  My sister-in-law and I had a conversation that got me thinking.  I’m inspired by the beginnings we see in nature, ones she listed out for me.  New seeds push through the soil and reach up into the light to grow and create new plants.  Baby chicks break through a shell to start a new life.  Clams create a new beautiful pearl by coating an irritating grain of sand.  Caterpillars literally have a meltdown (their bodies dissolve) inside their chrysalis to create a new life as a butterfly.  These new beginnings and new life are not without struggle and effort—sometimes, massive painful effort.  Yet without that painful, difficult push forward, it would be impossible to succeed and have that new life.  The joy of having wings, of the beauty of the pearl, or the fresh breath of life outside a shell comes because of the struggle.  Sometimes it feels easier to hide from the struggle.  But what if we embrace it?  What if we invite it in?  What if we take the long view and see where it could lead us?  The perspective could change everything.

Accepting Reality

As a therapist I do a lot of study in different methods that help people progress through their difficulties.  One concept I have noticed regularly in my study of 12 step literature is the concept of accepting reality.  I’ve seen this concept elsewhere, and while I have a million thoughts that I’ll have to share another time, I would like to share 3 of my favorite quotes on the subject.  One of these is a quote from a book I read, one is a 12-step quote, and one is from a religious source (so take what you like and leave the rest).  I always enjoy when I can pull truth on the same topic from several different arenas and see what they each contribute to a deeper personal understanding.  What understanding do you find through these quotes?

“When I argue with reality I lose, but only 100% of the time.” –Byron Katie.

“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.  When I am distrubed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation–some fact of my life–unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.  Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake…unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.”–AA Big Book

“To recognize the hand of the Lord in your life and to accept His will without complaint is a beginning. That decision does not immediately eliminate the struggles that will come for your growth. But I witness that it is the best way there is for you to find strength and understanding. It will free you from the dead ends of your own reasoning. It will allow your life to become a productive, meaningful experienc, when otherwise you may not know how to go on.”–Richard G. Scott, October General Conference, 1995

Conferences and Retreats Last Month

I just want to say how much I loved the opportunity to participate in St. George UCAP to share my book, and the Determined to Rise Conference for betrayal trauma and emotional abuse.

I love the opportunity to meet with parents who are looking to teach their children about healthy sexuality.  So many of you are doing such amazing work on your own and are seeking for resources to help you be even better as you navigate myriad unhealthy sexual messages in society today.  Thank you for the work you do and for the opportunity to be a part of that with you.  I look forward to meeting more of you at UCAP SLC next March!

I also very much enjoyed meeting with women at the Determined to Rise Conference.  The desire to push forward in healing and learning healthy ways of living for yourselves and families always inspire me.  I had an amazing experience engaging with each of you and hearing some of your stories.  And I’m thrilled to have been able to offer some therapeutic thoughts of my own during the presentation.  What a wonderful organization and weekend.  I look forward to presenting again and working with you wonderful women next March at the next event!

Individual, Couple and Family Therapy

I’m excited to announce that I’ve joined two practices and have started seeing clients locally, both in Salt Lake and UT Counties.  I see clients Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday at Lakewood Family Therapy, in Taylorsville, UT at I-215 and Redwood Rd.  I see clients Fridays at ADDO Recovery, in Lindon, UT.  Check out their websites, and contact them for individual, couple, or family sessions with me.  I look forward to having the opportunity to work with you and/or your loved ones.

In addition to the issues commonly discussed here, if you know anyone with trauma of any kind (car accident, anxiety, phobias, veterans, PTSD, and even trauma and shame from addiction), send them my way.  I am one of only a few therapists in UT certified in Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), which is an extremely rapid and effective method of treating trauma, as well as other things.

I am still running my online live courses, so if you are not local, please join a group and find lots of tools, hope and healing.

Determined to Rise

I am excited to announce that I will be speaking at an amazing women’s retreat in 2 weeks.  Determined to Rise hosts retreats for women who have suffered abuse, most commonly betrayal trauma.  It is a jam packed weekend of presentations on healing, recreational therapy, art therapy, yoga, and relaxation.  You can connect with women who have been there, and with resources to heal.  And best of all Determined to Rise does it very inexpensively!  For less than the price of a hotel room, you get everything you need to rejuvenate and move forward: meals, room and board, take homes, and all the activities mentioned above.  I’m honored to join this amazing team as the guest therapist presenter.  I hope to see you all there.  To get more information and register see their website here.  This year’s retreat is themed: Putting My Pieces Together, and I believe will feature a kintsugi art therapy activity.

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