Category: Betrayal Trauma Basics (Page 1 of 2)

Accelerated Resolution Therapy

I recently became one of only a handful of therapists in Utah certified in Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART).  I was so excited to be trained in this unique therapy with incredible results.  And I am so excited to tell you about it.

ART is a newer, revolutionary evidence-based treatment where clients see benefits and recovery much more rapidly than traditional therapies, usually within 1-5 sessions.  ART works to reprogram the way in which distressing images and memories are stored in the brain so that they no longer trigger strong physical and emotional reactions.  Originally studied for use with trauma and depression, clients presenting with a wide range of distress have seen results including, but not limited to:

Anxiety, Family Issues, Phobias, OCD, Addictions, Performance Anxiety, Victimization/Poor Self Image, Sexual Abuse, Infidelity, Codependency, Grief, Job Related Stress, Pain Management, and Memory Enhancement.

If you are in Utah and are interested in scheduling ART sessions with me, go to the Contact Me tab.

Summer Course Dates Available

As is often the case approaching the summer, it’s been a scramble to plan activities and vacations.  I finally have my summer course schedules finalized!

  • Betrayal Trauma Healing Course 1 starts Monday June 10th, 10-11:30am MST
  • Betrayal Trauma Healing Course 2 will follow Course 1 and start in August
  • Betrayal Trauma Boundaries Course starts Tuesday June 11th, 10-11:30am MST
  • Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality (Non-Denominational) starts Wednesday June 19th, 10-11:30am MST
  • Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality (Church of Jesus Christ) starts Thursday June 20th, 10-11:30am MST

 

For more details, check out the courses page. And email to sign up!

Summer can be crazy, if you have to miss a week, you can make it up or I can make a recording temporarily available (based on the consent of other participants).

If you want a course but can’t take it during the offered time, let me know, I’d love to try and accommodate you now or in the future.  I do occasionally add additional courses.

Watch My UCAP 2019 Presentation

My presentation at UCAP’s 2019 Conference is now available on their website to watch, along with several other wonderful presentations.  Check it out here!

Disclaimer: The explanatory blurb includes more than I cover.  I had to cut the presentation down because I had too much I wanted to discuss and not enough time!  If you want more, it’s all covered in my courses, check them out on the courses tab.

I’m also excited about two podcasts I’ve recently recorded, one on sexual addiction, and one on talking to your kids about healthy sexuality.  Stay tuned, they should be out next month!

Addressing Pornography

Note: This post contains religious content from The Church of Jesus Christ, to which I ascribe.  Take what you like and leave the rest.

I have been derelict in posting about the newer website put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, entitled Addressing Pornography.  I had the opportunity to assist in writing content for parts of this site.  While you may not agree with every word posted, there are some wonderful resources here for those who struggle with porn use, for betrayed spouses, and for parents seeking to protect their children.  I highly recommend checking it out and exploring what content connects with you.

UCAP 2019 Review

The annual Utah Coalition Against Pornography Conference was wonderful!  I loved the opportunity to interact with wonderful parents looking for more resources to help their children have a strong and healthy sexual foundation.  I was also grateful that UCAP gave me

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Come to UCAP 2019

Come visit me at UCAP—the Utah Coalition Against Pornography.  It’s the largest conference of its kind in the U.S.  This year it is on February 22, at the Salt Palace, in SLC.  This conference has topics for everyone including those struggling with pornography, to betrayed spouses, to parents looking to protect children, to teens and young adults.  See their website for details and registration.

This year is exciting because I have been asked to speak on Betrayal Trauma!

As usual, I will also have a booth at the conference for my book that helps parents teach their children about healthy sexuality.  And I will be promoting course information on my new online live courses for betrayal trauma and for parents teaching children.

I hope to see you there!

What do I do with Triggers?

Sometimes when life is going fairly well, you can still get hit with a trigger out of the blue.  You are able to see that the situation is a trigger and not based in reality (Sariah at Back Pocket Yoga calls this trigger vs. truth).  When this happens sometimes it seems logical to push the trigger away, or try to ignore it and move on with life. Often if we try this approach we find the trigger lingering.  It can be more helpful to validate yourself in the situation. Consider, “is it normal for me to have been triggered by this situation based on my past life circumstances?” More often than not you will find that being triggered is a normal Betrayal Trauma response.  Hold some space for that thought: this is a normal response to my circumstances. Don’t shame yourself, or push the reaction away, or ignore it, or freak out. Just accept it and hold space for it. Breathe into that validation. It is amazing how this can clear your mind and bring relief.  Relief that this is normal and an acceptable reality to be in.

Once you have validated yourself, and have accepted your reality you are in a better space through which to process, assess your situation, and move forward.

Deciding What Boundaries to Set

There are two helpful questions to ask oneself in the development of boundaries. The first involves asking yourself what you need to find safety and serenity.  The second involves asking yourself what kind of person you want to be.

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What is a Boundary? What are your Motives?

Boundaries can be tricky.  One of the things people I work with often want to know is, “what is a boundary? Give me a list.”  My answer is that it depends on your motive.

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Airplanes and Buffalo

**Note:  This post contains doctrinal concepts from The Church of Jesus Christ, to which I ascribe. Take what you like, and leave the rest.

As I was thinking today about betrayal trauma, and other things that pull us away from serenity, I thought of the analogy Dieter F. Uctdorf once gave of an airplane going into turbulence.  

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